Blog Post 015

What is your Home?

Where is your Home? 

Controversial, I know right? Someone had to say it and who better to say it than me.

The word “Home” can mean so much but it can also mean so very little - let me break it down for you.

I won’t go into the cringy quotes of “Home is two eyes and a heartbeat” (it might be no hate if that is to you) but, it can mean much more than a person, a building or even a materialistic item. 

The word “home” represents your safe space, some place where no matter how bad your day is or no matter how drained you are, this safe space will make you feel welcomed, loved and provide a sense of tranquility that no other place or person can make you feel.

Now don’t get me wrong, you might have more than one “thing” that is your safe space - I have loads.

My first home will always and forever be my dad’s arms - I outgrew them yet, when all goes south no matter how old I am, I will always revert to my dad’s big goofy arms. (Mum was never much of a cuddler)

My second home is my bed (actually my room), it’s the one place that has seen and heard all the tears, laughter, late night conversations and shaped me into the person I am today - when I was going through a very rough period in life, this was the only place where I felt comfortable to be me. (And my lil baby dowgey that I love and adore so much)

My third home is my boyfriends car (and mine) yet, his is special, he bought his car when we started dating, it has seen us grow. We argue , laugh, cry and make memories in that car, no matter how many expenses, mileage or dents our lil rocket will have - he will greet our little gremlins into the car scene. (DRAMATIC I KNOW, but yk I love cars)

My fourth home is my boyfriend (cringy but wait) - we argue, don’t see eye to eye on so many things, laugh and cry together but we make each other happy. No matter what happens at the end of the day, no matter what I’m going through, I would want him to be involved and present. (Except when we argue, I’m an independent bitch there) but, I have to admit it, he heals the little girl in me. 

My last and forever home is me. I am my own home. 

That’s very sad to write but it’s also a very big achievement for me to finally admit. I was always there to pick myself up when my parents couldn’t, I always supported myself when everyone else doubted me and I will never abandon myself just because.

Sometimes, as we’re growing up we tend to never find a home - or we tend to find a home in someone or something that most probably would be temporary (I know I mentioned my boyfriend but hear me out). I will forever be a firm believer that you need to figure out who you are and what purpose you want your life to serve. Finding a home, is the first step - just because you feel like you do not have home or a place that felt safe, doesn’t mean you can abuse of someone / something / place.

.. and I say that with a big responsibility. I read a post of a local influencer that said something along the lines of - she finally found her home after accepting or maybe not having enough love from her parents - but what this influencer did not show is the impact that she left on other people until she found her home, maybe family members, lovers and even friends. 

If the word “Home” means nothing to you or maybe means very little - start working on that. 

Find the one place, book, object or hobby that makes you feel at peace - that makes you feel loved and safe. 

Most of all, love yourself well enough to be your own home. Don’t judge yourself, compare yourself and accept yourself for who you are and what you want to be remembered for. It’s ok. You are you, and you are your own safe space, if you can not deal with your own emotions or thoughts, that is where you would need to find another way on how to accept yourself for who are, really and truly.

That being said, I’m going to ask you again. 

What is your Home? 

Where is your Home?

 If you still can not answer these questions, with an honest and true answer - guess what? It’s ok. 

Finding a home takes time, it takes a lot of courage to understand and deal with your past trauma and a big understanding on your “weak” points in life but guess what, we all have them and some of us are still looking for a home. 

Find your home and your safe space - it is the only unique thing that you’ll have for yourself.